The first rule of Excuse Club is: You must talk about Excuse Club.
Excuse Club is the dark and muddy basement where you lock up your dreams in order to tell yourself that you’ll deal with them later. And while you feel forgotten and abandoned down there, truth is that you’re never really on your own.
An exercise: Imagine yourself as the person you would like to be. I’m sure you’re pretty great as you are, but maybe there are some things you’d like to change. To become an even happier person, maybe. A person that would also bring some good vibes to others. Said cheesier, imagine your “best self”. Not by some arbitrary benchmark, to be sure, but according to your own terms.
Next, imagine some of your friends, family members, co-workers, and acquaintances. And imagine their cheesy “best selves”: There will be artists among them, but also cooks, philosophers, stay-at-home parents, rocket scientists and gardeners, mixed in with the occasional really great accountant. (Their own terms, remember!)
Now compare these people from your imagination to the current state of affairs out there, in the harsh cold light of reality. I bet a sandwich they won’t be exactly what you just had in mind. Look at yourself: You’ll still be wonderful and might even be quite successful, but could it be that something is missing? Some spark? Some weird “thing” in the air?
Where is it?
And where is that person you just envisioned?
The answer is that she’s stuck in Excuse Club. She’s stuck in Excuse Club with all these other people: Your friends, your family members, your co-workers and acquaintances.
And the problem is that she cannot get out. They all cannot get out.
They all cannot get out as long as you just keep fighting in that basement.
They cannot get out as long as you keep making excuses and accepting excuses. As long as you don’t start raising consciousness for this problem.
They all cannot get out until we start have some serious conversation about Excuse Club. Until we acknowledge its existence and start working to find a way out. Because there is a way, as obscure as it may be right now.
This isn’t about reaching perfection. Rather, it’s about understanding that making the first step in the right direction is perfect by itself. Because anywhere is better than that bloody basement full of elephant emperors displaying their new clothes.
If someone’s stuck, don’t just look away. Don’t accept his excuses. Maybe you can give him a hand to find his way out of the basement. And even if you cannot, maybe you’ll gain some insights yourself.
The second rule of Excuse Club is: You must talk about Excuse Club.
lovely. I especially like that you appeal to your readers to help others who are stuck. A true friend is the friend who is not too polite to point out to you that you are making excuses. :) I’m reading Brian Tracy’s “No excuses” right now. So this fits in nicely :) Let’s leave the basement. It’s time.
Ha, that was good timing then. I agree with you that we need friends who point us to our own hangouts in Excuse Club! Thanks, Clara! :)
Excuse Club is located at the bottom of a gravity well. Its tug is inexorable. Each little thought to do a little more research, to edit a little more, or to fit a little piece into the grand scheme is another slip on the slide back to the basement. I’ve been there. I took action to complete a small project today. It made a difference and I felt exhilarated. All it took was a series of small steps. Fabian, thank-you for articulating a small piece of wisdom that made a big difference!
Greg, the magic of these small steps is real and tangible. It was a huge pleasure to see you publishing the results of your efforts this past Sunday! Glad to see you’re escaping the “excuse tug”!
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